Lightbulb Moment

It’s time for a fresh start this year, even if it is June. Better late than never right? The blog is creeping her way along and I have the studio reveal to really thank for that.  IKEA, Domino Magazine, Studio Mucci and few followers shared my studio images on Instagram and I finally crossed the 2000 followers threshold! It’s been a long journey to get there, and still have to grow by 25x more.  It’s a start and good start at that.

So far in the Planning Pretty journey, I’ve said yes to a lot of opportunities that really weren’t the right fit. Whether I was worried about money, disappointing someone or desperately trying to grow, I wasn’t in the right mindset to agree to those commitments.  Guilt, oh the guilt, and how it plagued me for days.  I can’t be of much use feeling guilty all the time. I started reaching out to friends, chatting with my mom, husband and listening to lots of podcasts for answers.  I knew the answers the entire time, but it does help to hear it from others, even on repeat :)

You’re reading this like okay, what does this mean.  It means I’m going to start working on projects that truly fulfill what I need.  It means I’m going to finally tackle a goal that’s been on my mind for years. I tell you, I struggled with this decision.  Only, recent events really made it clear.  I was agreeing to put my priorities aside, dwell on the “should’s” and “could’s” and make every day miserable with worry. Wasted energy. The “should’s” were really the worst part.  I rationalize being in tough situations because that’s what I do best unfortunately.  I am one of those people that can look at a mess and try to find the one pretty thing in the pile. Sure it’s a good skill, but it can also be very draining and have terrible effects.

Disappointing others is always hard.  They were the hardest decisions I ever  had to make, but I always felt relieved afterwards. Still, it’s a crappy feeling and I have a tendency to let guilt get the best of me.  But here’s the lightbulb moment, what good am I to anyone if I’m not at peace with my decisions? Yes, there’s “always a way” for a situation, but I just don’t think that’s a way to live life.  Deep in the debt of obligations while your life is forced to take a backseat indefinitely. That’s how I’ve essentially lived the past 10 or so years of my life. I’ll never get those precious years back, young adulthood, where you get to really discover who you are and want to be. I’m still young enough to change the course and start heading on a path that’s right for me.  No more achieving just to please.

I think the better I get at practicing this, the better my blog and business will become.  I’ll finally be able to put the time into what matters to me in a way that works for me as well. I’ll forge stronger partnerships, speak with a clear voice and contribute positively to this industry. I’ll just have to faith that things will work out. There is something very freeing in that realization.  My shoulders feel lighter already.

Have a wonderful week everyone.